Exploring a woman’s heart

Our intrepid traveller was all set on a journey that could well turn out to be the most rewarding but he knew that it was certainly the most perilous. No man had ever been able to fully explore that treacherous territory – a woman’s heart.

The elders did their best to dissuade him. One old charlatan who claimed to have studied their soul for 30 years told him that even he failed to understand what women wanted. Another philosophically-inclined curmudgeon warned him that women were like elephants who everyone liked to look at but no-one liked to keep. It was impossible to convince a woman that even a bargain cost money, lamented another wizened soul.

And then there was the warning about the fearsome DMALBIT question which, unbeknownst to our hero, was potentially the most hazardous but which he, in the eagerness to start his journey, simply overlooked.

Our hero now carefully laid open the secret map of a woman’s heart to decide upon the best approach to the City & District of Love, situated roughly in the centre of the heartland. And then he clicked on it to see the details (which you can as well – it opens in a new window).

He could cross-over into the heart from the Country of Eligibleness but that would mean traversing the high grounds of matrimonial speculations – always a scary prospect. And there was a chance that he might get stuck in a male trap found in the Province of Deception. Even if he managed to get onto the fast railroad through Coquetry, he still could end up in the jilting corner for no fault of his. Didn’t look very promising.

Another approach was from the country of Solid Worth but this involved a never-ending passage through vast regions of Sentimentality, never our hero’s strong point, even though he had packed a few Mills & Boons.

The third option looked the most feasible and he decided to go for it. He arrived from the Sea of Wealth and swiftly made deep inroads through the Jewelry Inlet, thanks to a family trinket he had inherited. He was careful to avoid the twin rivers of Wilful Waste and Drain the Purse that subsume many unwary travellers in the Land of Love of Dress.

There were now only some Satin Plains to cross but this was the Land of Dress and pretty soon he found himself facing an interminable array of changing rooms. As he was plotting a swift escape, he was confronted with the dreaded question : DMALBIT ?

Our hero had no idea what the appropriate answer for this seemingly innocuous question was. He responded truthfully, believing it to be the best course of action. Before he realized what was happening he was flung violently out of the heart into the Land of Oblivion to crash and burn.

And the woman’s heart remained unconquered.

PS: Please scroll down for an important message.

DMALBIT : Does My A** Look Big In This ?